Diddle

I'm sorry I haven't gotten around to writing an entry since I moved here....it's not like I haven't had any time to do so, just not really the will. Isn't that usually how these things go?

The Job search is going and going, I mostly wish I had one so that when I go back to visit Ohio this weekend I could tell everyone what I'm doing instead of what I wish i were doing...or what I'm trying to do.  All I will say is that Nannying seems to be the most promising thing to come around.

I'm here at 3216 N Drake listening to "rainy day like" music, hanging out with Geeg. It's raining again for the umpteenth time this week, I still say I like it better than snow at this point. The sweatshirt I threw on this morning is that of a friend who gave it up Saturday night in order to keep me dry on the walk back to my place. Watching me pull it on he says "You look much better in that than me, you should just keep it". Wearing it makes me feel cared about by a good, old friend. 

I went and saw Watchmen on Sunday, I enjoyed it, I have my reservations about it, but I enjoyed it. Probably because I went in to it with such low expectations. I went and saw it with 7 other friends of mine....in Cleveland I had a hard time wrangling one person to see a film with me....at some point during the movie I remember just smiling at the fact that I was surrounded by such quality people, it made me endlessly happy. 

I have the possibility of two shows coming up. I'm defiantly playing at Femfest at North Park university in Java House March 27th at 7:30. So if you want to see my triumphant return please come and watch me attempt to play music in front of people again. I might possibly be playing with some folks at The Mutiny on April 30th along with The Clams who are for sure playing....so be there anyways. 

I returned to Barry Methodist Church on Sunday with Kate and I brought Darcie along. Right away I felt part of the community again. I now have a house to go to for Easter Dinner and it looks like some opportunities for babysitting in my future :) Barry is a great funky little artsy church community, I'm glad that Darcie will be coming with me every Sunday...not to mention that she has a car and she lives with me.

My Roommates of course are amazing women. Creative, responsible, sweet, creative, generous, beautiful, smart, funny, women. It's too bad we'll only be living together for 3 months...Not to mention there's a fantastic Dog here named Geeg. He helps me feel a little safer, and he's oh so adorable. 

I'm supposed to be here, I'm so happy that I am here. I've only been here 2 weeks and it's already been an explosion of creativity, shows, theater, friendship and endless blessings. Prayers that I'll find a job in the next week eh?

Much love to all. If you're not here, I really miss you.

How to:

Be a good neighbor;

 Driving home through my neighborhood I pass a 12 year old jogging up the hill by himself, he waved. I'll miss that in Chicago. 

Be a waitress;

   I wonder sometimes what people are thinking when I'm taking their order, bringing them water/coffee all day. I don't just wonder what they're thinking, I wonder what they've done that day, if it's been a good day, if they're going to see some one they love that day, if they are anxious about something they have to do after they leave this place. So I wish for one day that I could read the minds of my customers at work. I could get past the inevitable thoughts of "Damn this girls slow" or "Is this what I ordered?" or "Is that a piece of food on her face or a zit?" because I'm so interested in the story behind them. I remember driving home from a bass lesson with my Mom when I was younger and saying to her while driving through Shaker Heights "All these house's have a different story in them" "Yes they do sweetie, isn't that cool?"

Move to Chicago;

   I have a couple boxes packed, I plan on my preliminary trip to be next week. A day and a half to interview, look for a dresser and pick up a bed.

Show a boy that you like him;

   Send him something you had way too much fun making. He'll apparently not know what to do with himself, or what to do to thank you, just tell him that as long as he basks in your amazing card making skills, that's thanks enough.

Be a good friend;

Don't laugh too loudly when they're on the phone with some one who will probably get them in trouble....

Send text msgs like this in response to "I don't want to get up and go to work today"

"When we rise from sleep, let us rise for the joy of the true work we will be about this day, and considerately cheer each other on".

I've kept it in my phone for the past month :)

Write a song;

   Can I tell you just how terrified I am of writing music? Music is this one thing that comes terribly naturally to me and I can't bring myself to produce a song that I enjoy listening to. 

I was listening to Vampire weekend in the car today (a CD Nigel Burned for me that I gleefully stumbled upon, along with atlas sound, while looking through stuff yesterday) and...well...there aren't many songs on that album, so I ended up listening to the thing repeatedly. After about the 5th or 6th time through I started to think "These guys aren't that tight....this is really annoying to me all of the sudden...why the fuck is that?" Don't get me wrong I'm a huge fan of lo fi music, much to Jon's Chagrin, but every little sloppy note started to crawl under my skin. I kept listening to try and figure out why I enjoy this music, and how maybe I could sloppily, easily make something similar, but picking apart something so simple defeats the purpose of coming up with such a fun and free song, right?

 Maybe what annoyed me about the sloppiness of the song is that as a musician I've always strived for tightness. As a bass player I'm the time and meter that every ones listening to with out realizing it...the Drums being the more obvious toe tapping instigator. So to achieve that sound that is basically the subconsciousness of the band I need to listen and be tight with everyone else, Classically, Jazzically....Rock and Rollically....And I get angry when a Band like Vampire Weekend can make fun catchy music that isn't even that TIGHT while I sit here anxious to even open Ableton live! (That's music software) The curse of the classically trained musician I guess...I need to get the fuck over myself.

I've been thinking a lot recently about the anatomy of a song. What makes songs like The Walkmens "The Rat"or Battles "Atlas" so powerful to me? Why does it FEEL so obvious to me that what goes into a good piece of music and a good piece of theater is structurally the same thing....yet it is terribly difficult to DESCRIBE. 

Be a good Director

The play was a success. The Cast had discussions with the Audience in small group form after each performance, and it seems that it did a lot of good. I think I did my part in decreasing the Bullying in Mayfield Middle school. And I enjoyed watching the kids in the audience jam out to LCD soundsystem and Cadence weapon, as they were the interludes for the production. The kids are great, we're facebook friends now, and I finally told them where I waitress ;)

Have fun Babysitting

Waltz with the one year old boy to "Once Upon a dream" In the opening credits of Sleeping Beauty. Spider man swing the 3 year old boy, and fairy fly the 2 year old girl into bed. I promise you'll have fun.

Musing of a New Director

   Thank the lord this Monday my first (paid) gig as a director will be over. The performance is of a play I've simply dubbed "Bully Play" which was found somewhere on the Internet and then cut clipped and butchered to better fit the needs of the school by my Boss. 

It wasn't until yesterday during our "dress" that I looked at this play and thought, "God this is just an awful play and I am so fucking sick of it". I purposely did not let myself think this

 thought until this moment because otherwise it would have turned into something boring and unpresentable....it doesn't seem to have become that. I remember thinking when taking this job that I just love working with highschoolers. And I do! But the instance in which I last worked with them was at a sleep away camp, where parents and transportation were not in question....note to self: build better communication with parents the next time you work with school age Children. Because of these kids parents I've had so many last minute "OH my mom JUST told me that I have an orthodontist appointment after school, I can't come to practice" or "OH I didn't show up with out telling you because my Mom wouldn't LET me come to rehearsal because of my bad grades" this AFTER (both the kid and the parent) signed a contract that states they wont get paid if they miss more than one rehearsal with out telling me TWO days in advance......

ALL that said, I really like the kids I'm working with, they're kind to me and to each other, they're probably the kids I'd be friends with in high school, and they seem to think I'm cool in some sense. And I worked with what I had and made it into something that I think Middle schoolers will at the very least pay attention to. If ONE kid walks away from this play having learned that they should be nicer to a kid that is quiet, or doesn't have any friends or smells funny....then I've done my job. And we're showing the play to the entire 5th and 6th Grade so....there's a good possibility that that will happen. 

Would I do anything differently? Yeah. I'd probably get a second person in there with me from the beginning. Get some kid to take blocking notes for me, line notes, keep track of the contracts, permission slips etc so I could pay attention to the play more. I'd give the kids copies of their contracts so they'd remember what it is they signed on to do. I'd call all their parents from the beginning and make sure they understand what THEY signed on to do and establish some sort of a relationship with them so they know I'm not joking around here. And I'd require practices to be lengthened the last two weeks of rehearsals. 

Maybe I'll get some one to film the thing and I'll YouTube it....or maybe I'll be way too embarrassed to do that. 

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Me and Dave went for a walk in snowy sunny Jackson Field yesterday, it was beautiful and refreshing and the best exercise I've gotten in a while. I'm going to miss the hills and the trees pretty badly when I move to Chicago...I might just go for a walk again today. 

(The Photo is from a less sunny trip to Jackson Field)

Now THAT's funny.

   I seem to find a lot of things funny these days that aren't intended to be. I mean that is usually the case, but recently the unintentional funny things have been out weighing the intentionally funny things. 

like. .

My Mother frantically screaming as she shuffles through papers all over the house;

"THERE WAS A FROSTY CUPON THAT HAS SOME VERY IMPORTANT ADDRESSES ON IT and now it's GOOONE!!"

"This is what people have blackberrys for mom"

"I thought if I wrote the Address on MY COUPONS that it'd be SAFE! But NOOOOOO I write it down and a week goes by and it's GOOOONNEEE! I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT!"

mean while I am laughing in the kitchen making eggs and she does NOT think this is a laughing matter.

 It's how I survive really, laughing at things that are loud and kind of scary, but when you think about it, really funny. I can't get wrapped up in the crazy that happens in my house every other day anymore, it's bad for my health. So growing up here I've learned to laugh at things that are so over the top scary crazy, embaressing or angering because 6 times out of 10, it's not actually worth it to get anxious or upset about it.

I picked up a little saying from a friend, "Find the Funny". because there's something funnyto find  everyday.

Oddly enough the friend that I got that from stopped being my friend in a pretty laughable situation, it's mostly the relationship that he's in that's laughable.

This makes me kind of crazy right? I swear I have other emotions.

However, my Cast not knowing their lines a week before the performance....that's not funny too me. 

I LIKE IT STINK EYE!

I love you two.

My life is so much better with you guys in it.

I am moving to Chicago so help me God

The Date is set, the deal is made. I'm moving in with Miss Young and Miss Burns in their Logan square apartment this March. It is going to be fabulous. 

Obviously I have been planning this for quite some time now, but I'm still pretty amazed that it's kind of coming together. Darcie offering me this room for one thing is a God send. I'll be talking to people about Jobs everyday till I get there, not to mention I'll probably mosey on over there as soon as I can for some interview type things, and everything will hopefully come together and my move there will be successful and permanent. 

So I'm sitting here doing the math, making sure everything will be in place, planning my close to perfect life in Chicago. I'm mentally preparing myself for living frugally, which entails eating mostly Zaterans rice mixes and drinking mainly PBR. as well as figuring out how I'm going to chase a boy that lives states away as I thrive in the city of my choosing

....is it weird for Girls to chase Boys? Like in a non-playground kind of way.....it's ok I think, especially since this particular boy has been chasing me on some level for roughly 5 years....So the goal is that I give chase with out feeling insane, which will obviously be difficult. SO let me know if you want to road trip it to New York City any time, any time at all.

This Month is going to be all about problem solving, though I suppose that's kind of what life is about, but this month in particular I will be deliberately solving each problem that needs to be taken care of before I move to Chicago, there seems to be quite a few. BUT I AM DETERMINED!

My brain is dying. I didn't leave the house all day today, mainly because it snowed and work was cancelled, also because I didn't have access to a car all day, frustrating. So my brain is dying. my motivation to paint, read, play music, write, do logic puzzles, whatever... is dwindling...I hate it. Make it come back. 

I don't care who you are or how good you think you may be, when I get to Chicago, we're playing music together.

New York...

was

Perfect.

And life is even more complicated.