Sunday, September 12, 2010

Wanting to exist in the space in between


There is a time of day that is like no other:
I've brushed my teeth and put on my pj's, set my alarm and kissed Ryan good night. My ear plugs go in and i lay in bed trying to go to sleep. Then what happens between that time i roll over and the time i fall asleep is what i wish had been happening all day. That time is when the ideas start to show up.

Soon my brain is like a dream like interactive poster board filled with amazing images, designs, song ideas, stories, even fall fashion collections, all things that only exist in my mind, all images that you cannot google, all so complex that turning on the light and scribbling something down wouldn't do them justice. But I guess for now I'll do my best.

I want to exist in this space all day. This limbo between waking and sleeping where all my idea's seem too flow freely out into my conscience mind. During the day I am so distracted or if I'm not I want to be, I get lonely so quick that I turn to the internet or i turn to the television, why can't I just put my ear plugs in, close my eyes and return to the space in between?

I have a memo recorder filled with song idea's, a head filled with photo shoot concepts, and a note book filled with stories, an eye filled with fashion lines and yet something in me stops it from going any further. It all stops just after it leaves my finger tips, or just before, terrified of going any further. What does it take to make it go the extra step.

Does this fit into any job description you've ever heard of?

I want to exist in that space between, where anything is possible and my idea's flow with limitless freedom.

Tomorrow is going to be nothing like today.

(excuse the hippie, trippy psycho babble shit, I just rolled out of bed to write this.