Finding Worth at what age

I was talking to a kid the other day, a kid that is engaged mind you, a 19 year old kid who is on the brink of entering his 20's and desperately trying to get his shit together before he's responsible for the well being of his wife. He's a drummer and he decided that if his band/studio isn't off the ground and/or famous by the time he's 24 then he's going to give up and get a "real" job. I chuckled to myself at the thought of 24 being an age where people NEED to have their shit together, which in his case might be true, but I told him. "Dude, 24 is still really young, I'm 23 and I'm still trying to figure out exactly what I want to be when I grow up." 

It's too bad that young adults are fed this Idea that you need a "back up" in case what you really want to do doesn't work out, I think it keeps people from giving their 100 %, and (in my case) spreads people too thin. But anyways. 24 isn't it, you can still work towards your goals after that point, although it's good to have goals. But I think the idea of having an age limit is unnecessary.  I mean my uncle didn't realize that he wanted to be a nurse until well into his 50's.

So here I am, an unemployed creative type in her 20's trying to find some value that she has to her community.  And because a persons worth is usually attributed to their job or their responsibility to their family or significant other...I'm at a loss. I mean, I have things to do, I've assigned myself tasks, I have an internship and musical and otherwise creative endeavors, but no set schedule, no boyfriend or car or even a bike or a 9 to 5 and a bank account that is less than pleasing.  So I find myself wondering how I can feel valued with out the things that I have been taught give me value as a young woman in society. 

So let's see, I suppose I am valued as a:

Daughter

Sister

Friend

Musician

....I guess

I guess what I'm trying to say is: I would never want to re-live my 20's. especially my early 20's. 

When I told the kid this he acted suprised saying, "Really?!"

I just said, "Yeah dude, you'll see. It's the age where you grow up and have no Idea what to do and realize nobody else has a clue either."

Life is funny

And thankfully I have the ablity to laugh.

I have recently gotten a very exciting internship with Mo Roses production company. They put on shows like this:

Mom and Dad are so proud :)

I've been back in Chicago now for 6 months. Most of the time searching for jobs and things to keep me afloat. I've been trying to figure out what direction I should go in when I want to focus on both of my passions equally (music and Theater) then PLOP this thing falls in my lap. It's perfect, it's fun, it's small, it's paid, it's combining two of my favorite things ;)

you could be a model.

With one seat left she takes her place between a petite Mexican woman and a tall elderly man wearing what she imagines to be his denim uniform. As not to invade her neighbors personal space she leans forward and perches her elbows on her knees, not realizing that she's taken an almost photographic pose. The bus is absent of human voices until an old woman chimes shakily, "You're going to be a model, you're so tall and beautiful". Taken off guard, sheepishly she smiles and half whispers "Thank you" while a girl towards the front peers over and giggles. All of the sudden she's aware of herself and feels everyone on the bus looking to see if the old woman is right, she can feel them thinking "Tall, yeah, pretty? Eh". Subtly she recoils by folding her arms and slouching back, no longer concerned with brushing shoulders with her neighbors, hoping that the jeans and forest green beater she's wearing will help her to blend once again into the background. The bus whirs on and she get's off before the old woman does, but not before she informs her "Don't go on the train with those flip flops, they'll getcha". After years of being told she could "be a model" she wonders if she should follow her reply of "Thank you" with "But they don't take girls with bad skin and big butts".