Circular brains connecting cyclically.

How my brain works, the brain of an artist, is a mystery. Maybe not to psychologists or scientists or maybe not even my parents....but to me, it's a mystery to me. Why do most of my idea's for paintings come from anxiety attacks? Why do I feel closest to God when I'm at a stinky crowded noisy show? Every once in a while I'll come across a painting or a piece of music or a movie and I'll think "Oh my goodness that's exactly how I see the world". This happened when I saw "The Science of Sleep" Directed by Micheal Gondry, This is why I connect with many of the Wes Anderson films, because of the way he shoots things (i.e. paying close attention to detail, making colors pop, take/double take shots). This is what happened when I discovered Gustav Klimt and Egon Schiele and it's even how I feel when I look at Tim Lowly's paintings. I experience these things and I know some one out there see's the world the same way I do, this is refreshing when you can't relate to most of the kind of art the media is saturated with.

Every once in a while I'll go on www.vimeo.com and check out the favorites posted on the front page, this leads me on a path that is full of some amazingly animated short films. Recently I came across "La Fete" by Malcom Sutherland. This short is about a celebration in Quebec involving quite the eclectic crowd, and when I watched it I got that feeling, I thought "This is exactly how my brain processes a crowd". It's quite amazing, check it out.

La Fete (HD - 2010) from Malcolm Sutherland on Vimeo.

This is all relating to visually experienced art, and although I didn't include Theater in this post it can some times apply to shows I see....but I think watching theater is about something else. Something else that must be talked about at a different time.

As far as how this relates to music...well since I see the world through music and through rhythm on a near constant basis it's a little different, so to hear a piece of music and think "This is how I see the world" doesn't happen as often as maybe hearing a piece of music and feeling "This is how I feel the world". Does that make sense?

I do this, and I think most other people like me do this, where they pass a book or a movie or a painting or music on a person not only because it is "good" to them, but it effects them in a way that might explain to that person what makes them tick. One of the fabulous ways art can be used, as a tool to better understand the people around us, and how they see the world. Isn't that amazing?

I think that's really F**king amazing.

To Do: Funemployment

It's nice to finally have time to look at a "To Do" list and accomplish the things on that list. From Jan to the first week in March I was going going going from 8 am - 11 pm.

Wake up, work, class, rehearsal, rehearsal, go home, sleep repeat >

That all changed a little over a week ago when the play I was directing went up and closed, when the Theater season i was working for ended and the play I am acting in ended rehearsals as it opened. Not to mention I had spring break from classes last week. I'm experiencing something people all over the country can relate to, going from 60 - 0 in seconds. Now I find myself back at home in an all too familiar position, looking for work and trying to keep myself busy enough not to nap all day.

I'm lucky that I'm a creative type, because that means finding things to do isn't particularly difficult. I've started working on a painting, I'm looking to work more on writing children's books and plays, and there is no end to the musical projects I can involve myself in.

Some people aren't so lucky, some people are good at the thing you can get paid for, and not much else.

Some people don't enjoy listening to NPR all day as much as I do.

Some people don't have a fluffy dog to snuggle with when they get lonely.

Some people don't have 4 roommates to clean up after when there's nothing else to do.

So really I'm lucky...

So.

To Do:

Finish Reading Bone

Learn how to play a song on Ryan's pretty new Guitar

Finish that painting

Secure a new apartment

Do some of Darcie's Dishes for her

Apply for that Job Joe referred me to.

Clean my room

File state taxes

Put away excessive winter clothing

I filed my federal taxes today and I will disclose to you that last year I made a little less than 50% of what is considered the poverty Threshold for a single person under the age of 65. This made me pretty mopey because, especially with in the past two months, I have been worked to the bone. Then I thought about it and I talked to The-Big-Man-Upstairs and I realized how this number says nothing about how valued I am, this Number speaks volumes to the blessings I've received, and this number only proves the fact that God Will provide, for there is not one day where I went hungry or with out a place to sleep. I contribute that to my parents and to being part of a pretty amazing community.

Having a community is pretty important to Funemplyment I think.

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? - Matthew 6:26

I want i want I want me me me me now now now now mine mine mine mine

I want it to be spring already. I want to hear the air outside my window fill with humidity and pressure and birds clamoring to sing louder than that f**king dog next door.

I want to be able to go to the doctor when I see that my surgery scare opened up over night. I don't want to have to wonder "Can I afford Rent, Gas and a trip to the doctor this month?"

I want not to be angry at my employers for taking advantage of young struggling theater professionals by paying them less than 8 dollars an hour when there's no way for them to afford health insurance and little time for them to take on a second job.....but hey it's money right?

At the Gala last night, heard over our radios:

"J to front of house staff, does anyone have a 20 we can lend to a patron to get home?"

"J, we work at Chicago Shakespeare Theater, none of us have a 20."

"Copy "We-don't-pay-you-enough".

I want to sleep all the way through the night. Just once.

I want that grey double breasted Burberry coat I saw when I was working coat check last night.

I want there to be more jobs for everyone.

I want to not be such a whiner...

I want to start a Blog that's for more than just complaining.