Girls.

A handful of my talented girlfriends in Chicago made a zine of their work and gave it to people for Christmas. Brilliant girls.
A quote that they placed at the very beginning of the zine caught my eye.

"There's a special place in hell for women who don't help other women" - Madeleine Albright, Former U.S. Secretary of State

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I feel her piercing eyes across an unfamiliar living room, it's speckled with girls I've never met, of course not one of them bothers to introduce themselves.
There she is sitting across from me, gathering information with every glance, picking up on flaw's I omit like high frequencies. 'Bad skin, split ends, weird clothes, heavy sighs. THIS is the girl who captured his attention?'
I know all this because I'm doing the same thing. I glance and glance hoping to find a flaw to reap, but I can't find a thing. 'Captivating almond eyes, flawless skin, beautiful curves, an endlessly cheerful smile....THIS is the manipulative little girl that is dragging us through the mud?'
Why do women so beautiful do themselves the dis-service of being so ugly.

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http://www.womenco.com/benefits/articles/308-the-special-place-in-hell


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As destructive as ones anxiety may be, in particular my anxiety, it ends up giving me qualities that I otherwise would not possess. It has become obvious to me that the nature of my friendships have a lot to do with my history with women, girls, whatever. When you're young, girls can be cruel, especially when you're lanky and flat chested and weird and in Orchestra. Needless to say, I was picked on. This causes me, and women like me, to be very selective with their girlfriends, making sure they're not bringing in unneeded drama, that the amount of caring for one another is a two way street, making sure all that petty shit roles off their back. suprisingly it's not everyday that you find women with all three of these qualities, I struggle with them myself! All women do! But because I get so anxious around girls who may be hazourdous to my mental health...I avoid a deeper friendship with them.


Thank God in heaven that I have some of the most beautiful, creative, kind, caring, funny, ambitious, weird women in my life, and that I have successfully entered into relationships with them.

The other thing my bad history with women has driven me to? More friendships with men, guys, whatever. Now it MIGHT have something to do with being the only girl bass player in town, at camp, at school, in the band, and just generally being used to the sausage fest, but I'm guessing me feeling like I can fit in more with boys than girls might have something to do with the fact that at a young age my brain went "Girls - Mean, Boys - nice". ..who knows for sure.


But seriously Ladies. In the end, what drives me nuts about females is that we're pinned against each other, and most of the time for no reason at all! There are two girls (that I know of) that do not like me one bit, a) they have no reason to dislike me and b) If they liked me, I would have no problem with them! Yes men have a bad track record of suppressing women in every way but what is even more horrifying is that WOMEN have a history of suppressing women as well! And maybe that's a mans fault, maybe the media is to blame, maybe, maybe, maybe. In all honesty, it's your choice in the end. Whatever beef you have with the girl sitting across from you, weather her clothes are too "preppy" or her make-up is too heavy, just remember that she's has mostly likely had all the same girly troubles that you have and you can relate to her on every basic womanly level.